


Imperial Horseplay

by Desfore



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bows & Arrows, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Roleplay, Sexual Content, Suggestive Themes, Surprises
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:57:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desfore/pseuds/Desfore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A side story to the wonderful fanfic, Herding Cats. It details a night of passion between Feferi Peixes and Equius Zahhak, with perhaps a few surprises. If you haven't read Herding Cats yet, I'd recommend doing so before reading this. Not that you'd be lost reading this without reading that first, I just think you should totally read Herding Cats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Empress and her Archeradicator

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Herding Cats](https://archiveofourown.org/works/349720) by [childishGambino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/pseuds/childishGambino). 



**> Feferi: Implement plan for tonight.**

Don’t worry, the plan is already in motion, and everything is in place for tonight. Today’s date has been magical, and you are so excited for the lovin you foresee happening tonight. He can deny it all he wants, but that matesprit of yours has quite the perverted side to him. All it takes is a good amount of persuasion for it to be coaxed out. It probably has a little to do with Nepeta telling him to tone down the creepy stuff for your sake, but some of his idea on submission and domination sound… intriguing.

“Feferi? Are you quite alright?” Equius says concernedly. “You mentioned something about a gift and then went silent. And now you’re mumbling something about a plan and dr001ing slightly.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah! Saury, I got carried away thinking about how wonderful this date has been. But yes, I’ve got a big shore-prise for you, Equius!”

“Feferi, I’ve told you before, I don’t need any gifts.” He sighed. “All I need and ask for is simply your unending love.” He says, pulling Feferi in for a gentle kiss.

‘Oh glub,’ Feferi thought to herself. ‘He doesn’t get romantic often, but when he does...’ “Whale, too bad.” She interjected, breaking his kiss. “I already have this surprise good and ready, so you’re gonna take it and be happy. Bereef me, it’s sooo amazing, and it’s all thanks to Nepeta for tipping me off to some of your old habits.”

“Hrk… Um, to what ‘habits’ are you referring to e%actly?”

“Well, she told me that you have quite the habit of breaking things, two things in particular: Robots and these.” She says, pulling a bow and arrow from her sylladex.

“Oh my.” Equius says, flustered at the sight of his old passion. “Erm. Yes I do, but there’s really more to that then just a desire to destroy bows.”

“Yeah. Nepeta told me that you wanted to be an Archeradicator one day when you managed to actually shoot an arrow without breaking a bow.”

“Yes, e%actly. I see you and her have been quite… chatty.”

“So, I decided to help you with your dream!” She cheers, mostly ignoring his comment. “Up until now, all you’ve had were these pieces of shit.” She says while snapping the bow in half to punctuate her statement, a sight that elicits a strange pleasure in Equius. “But, thanks to my (and sollux’s) fintastic alchemy knowledge, I’ve come up with these!” She says, proudly displaying a variety of bows of all shapes, sizes, and colours. Equius could only gape at this bounty that was before him. He picks up a bow that looks like it was crafted from pure lightning, and simply touching it sends tingles up his arm. “I figured, with your ridiculous strength you’d need a fittingly strong weapon to properly wield. And, worst case scenario, if it turns out that none of these bows are re-silt-ient enough for you, at least you can have a fun time-“ With a short tug at the bowstring, the lightning bow snaps in half with a shower of sparks. “…Breaking them,” Feferi giggles.

“I guess so.” Equius says with a light smirk. “I might need more towels for this.”

For the next twenty minutes, Feferi watched Equius continue to try out the bows together in his workshop. Thankfully, due to Feferi’s insistence on coming here, the shattered remains of all of his failed attempts only added to the clutter of Equius’s broken & unfinished robots and several used towels. She figured the many robots would serve as decent targets in the possibility that one bow could withstand his freakish strength. However, this progressively looked less and less likely to happen. Equius had even started to be more and more gentle testing the bows, but that only served to give them a few more centimeters before snapping like all the rest.

“I’m sorry, but this is hopeless, Feferi.” Equius sighed, resigned to his fate. “I truly appreciate your gift, but it seems like there will never be a bow to match my e%ceptional strength.”

“Yeah. Well, I thought it was worth a try.” Feferi said, dejected. “Well, I only have one more. Might as well finish it off.” She says, while presenting a large, plain bow with a deep indigo colour.

“Oh my. What did you use to make this one?” Equius asks, slightly surprised at its simplistic beauty.

“Umm, I think this one was made from that steel bow you broke a while back, and from a picture I had of you. I figured, by using you in making a bow it might make it strong or special or something. But it just made this simple thing. It doesn’t even look cool or anything, but I guess the colour is appropriate, though.”

Equius slowly tugs on the bowstring as gently as he can, only to find it resisting his pulls. Shocked at not only a bow that withstood his strength, but actually challenging him, Equius quickly picks up an indigo arrow and readies it to shoot. He takes aim at the head of a robot in the corner of the room, and slowly starts applying more and more of his strength into pulling the string back. Only when exerting his full strength was the bow string finally taught and ready to fire. Primed and locked onto his target, he launched his first arrow, hitting the robot square in its chest, completely shattering the robot in an instant. It wasn’t what he was aiming for, but for the first arrow he’s ever shot, he’ll take it. Hell, the arrow even pierced the wall and continued flying, probably burying itself deep in an ogre’s brain, miles away. Such a fantastic shot would’ve launched Equius quite a few rungs up his echeladder, if he weren’t already at the peak.

“OH FUCK! OH SHIT! OH GLUB! You actually did it Equius! You shot an arrow!” Feferi could not contain the excitement she was feeling right now. She immediately began jumping for joy, and jumped straight into Equius’s arms, peppering his face with kisses.

“Feferi, please watch your language. But, yes. I suppose I did.” He chuckled to himself. He almost couldn’t believe what had just happened. His repeated failures tonight had robbed him of any hope of archery, but this success has fiercely reignited this passion in his heart.

“Go on! Shoot some more!” Feferi cheered him on.

“Alright.” Equius chuckled. This small, but still immense, feat has left Equius in a bizarre euphoria he didn’t quite understand. “But, er… Having now successfully fired an arrow, I believe this suit is quite constricting to the motions required for this activity.”

“Ooo, well then. Why don’t you just take it off,” Feferi suggests in a suddenly sultry voice. “You know how much I enjoy watching your mussels.” She slowly rubs her hand down his chest until reaching the buttons on his jacket, which she quickly undoes for him.

“I… Yes, you have e%pressed that notion in the past.” He admits, embarrassed. Admittedly, Equius was still unused to how frank Feferi was with her affection. However, he was making strides in being more openly affectionate with her.

Equius quickly took off his suit jacket and shirt in order to continue his archery practice unhindered. Feferi watched this with great interest, even giggling quietly once his shirt was finally removed. After all of the time he spent breaking bows, and the excitement he had from his success, Equius’s body was drenched in sweat. His muscles glistened in the light as he notched another arrow. Feferi intently watched as his pecs and biceps tensed and relaxed, not even paying attention to the arrow being launched. She suddenly noticed that she began to drool again.

“Oh glub. Equius, do you have any spare towels?” Feferi quickly asks, wiping her mouth.

For the next 10 minutes, Equius continued to shoot arrows at what remained of the robots in his workshop, and Feferi continued to watch Equius shoot arrows. Wait, was it 10 minutes? 15? 20? Feferi didn’t know how long it’s been anymore. What she did know was dear lord does she love that big beefcake! Thankfully for her, Equius did indeed have a towel for her so she didn’t have to worry about her making a mess while watching the intricate muscles in Equius’s back tense and relax again and again.

That’s when a sudden idea came to Feferi: a continuation of tonight’s plan. It looks like the bows aren’t the only surprise Equius is gonna get tonight! But, after achieving one of his life’s greatest ambitions, the surprise she haad in mind seemed pretty minor in comparison. ‘Well, I could tidaly do that, but it just doesn’t seem like enough,’ she thought to herself. ‘I mean, I hardly know how to do it! I can probably manage, but probably the only one of us twelve that even has any experience doing something like that is -!’ her train of thought suddenly stops at the revelation she’s come to. ‘Oh my fucking glub. This plan is soooo much freaking better than what I just thought up. And it’s so devious, it has to work! I mean, look at Nepeta's track record!’

“Equius!” She calls once again in her sultry voice. “I’m tired of watching you shoot arrow after arrow into those robots.” That was a lie, but for the plan to proceed, the shooting must stop.

“Oh, my apologies Feferi. I didn’t mean to bore you.” He responded, surprised at her comment after all this time spent in silence. “I must have gotten carried away with-“ Once again Feferi silences Equius with a kiss.

‘Equius can be so long winded sometimes.’ She thinks to herself, then breaks the kiss to continue speaking. “Don’t worry about it Equius, you definitely didn’t bore me. But, I have something more… interesting in mind, which we can do together.” She finishes with a large, wicked grin on her face.

“Oh, oh dear. Just what did you have in mind?” Equius asks with a slight twinge of fear in his voice.

“Well, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna go to the respiteblook and get ready, and you’re gonna go to the ablutionblock and take a quick shower to get rid of some of this sweat.” She says while slowly running her hands down Equius’s chest. “Then, when you’re done with your shower, come up and join me.” She moves in close to whisper in his ear. “Because the Empress has another surprise waiting for the captain of her Archeradicators.”


	2. Roleplaying Heats Up

‘Holy carp, that was so flippin awesome!’ Feferi thought to herself in Equius’s respiteblock. ‘Equius was so excited, he practically charged up to the ablutionblock. Plus, he certainly LOOKED pretty excited! Hehehehe. Okay, keep it together, Fef. You have a lot to set up, and not much time to do it. Shit, why did you have to start that roleplaying thing? It was awesome, but you don’t have anything even remotely im-pearl-ial looking on you. Glub, you don’t even have nearly enough jewelry on you to pull off the Empress. Wait, would the Empress even wear jewelry to fuck? …Of course she would.’

Feferi walked over to Equius’s computer chair as she pondered he conundrum. ‘Shell, if I want go through with the plan, I’m going to have to contact HER anyway. And, if I can convince her, she might be able to help. Ugh, but how do I even beach this topic with her? It’s so preposterous, she’d never agree to it. You should just forget about this plan, and have hot, regular roleplay sex with Equius. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even care if you just wore these clothes and played the Empress.’ Feferi turned to look at Equius’s computer, and after a moment of simply staring at it, she sighed and logged into her Trollian account. She mumbled to herself, “It’s good that Equius takes so long to shower.”

**> Equius: Cautiously enter your respiteblock.**

After a sufficiently thorough shower, you are at the door of your respiteblock, in which your matesprit is awaiting you. From the way she was acting before, it’s obvious she has some sort of roleplay shenanigans in the works for you. A week ago you would have never engaged in such childish foolishness. But now here you are; wondering whether you should enter now, clothed in only your slightly damp pants, or if you should head back and try to find some role-appropriate clothes to wear. A lot has changed in a week.

You could’ve sworn that you heard quite a bit of alchemizing going on while you were in the shower, so Feferi definitely made some preparations for what she has planned. So, it would only be appropriate to dress properly for this roleplaying session, to honor her investment. But, would it be wrong of you to make her wait even longer than you already have while you search for clothes? With your respiteblock off-limits, you’ve been separated from the majority of your clothes, but there must be some stray articles of clothing lying around somewhere around-

“EQUIUS! Just glubbin get in here!” Feferi shouts from the other side of the door. She must have heard you hesitating at the door. It looks like the decision has been made for you. You take one last deep breath, and enter the room.

One thing that certainly changed over the last week was your repiteblock. Where was once simply a proxy workshop with only a few paintings to break the emptiness, now resided an enormous, luxurious canopy bed, on Feferi’s insistence. While it did put your recuperacoon to shame, you do find it absurd that highbloods would design a piece of furniture purely for the purpose of enhancing copulation. Admittedly, making love with Feferi is the most incredible thing you’ve ever experienced, but it would be pleasurable regardless of the location… That said, it is pretty comfy. The silk sheets and violet mood lighting certainly did help create an atmosphere, though the drapes were somewhat annoying.

However, while the bed is quite amazing, the main thing that catches your eye is rather what is currently on the bed. The violet light was positioned to perfectly illuminate the silhouette of Feferi, though the drapes hid the actual details of her appearance. All you can see is Feferi kneeling on the bed, facing toward you. The shape of her hair masked most of the detail of her shadow, but from the visible curves of her lower body, it was easy to deduce that Feferi was either nude or wearing something quite risqué. And right now, you couldn’t tell which of those two you’d prefer.

“Greetings, Darkleer.” Feferi says with a deep, commanding voice. “You kelpt me waiting.”

“My deepest apologies, my Empress,” Equius says with a bow. “I was concerned about my appearance before you.”

“Hmm, a valid conch-cern. After all, I will only accept the best, which brings me to why I invited you here. I saw your archery practice today.”

“I’m honored, Empress,” Equius feigned surprise. “It’s not often that you take such interest in your army’s training.”

“Well, I shoald say that I was only interested in your practice, Darkleer. You exerted yourself quite more than any of your underlings, and left me quite impressed at your performance.” At this, Feferi began to sensually move her arms up and down her body, caressing herself from remembering Equius’s exhibition. “And, I must say, the fact that you were the only archer practicing bare-chested only added to my interest.”

“Er, yes. I found my uniform a bit too restrictive for my practice today. And instead of wasting the time to seek a replacement, I simply removed my coat to continue my routines. The captain should set an e%ample for his men, and I would not a%ept any interruption in their training.” Equius says proudly, getting lost in his character. “However, in doing so I fear I might have undermined the importance of the Archeradicator uniform in the minds of my men. Is that what you wished to discuss tonight, Empress?”

“Umm, no?” Feferi states quizzically, unsure about where Equius was going with that thought. “In fact, from now on I command you to always conduct practice bare-chested.” She proclaims, refocusing the roleplay scenario. “But only you, Darkleer. It would… please me.”

“Well, if it encourages the Empress to grace our practice with her presence again, I will do so from now on.” Equius says, again with a bow.

“If you do, I might be encouraged to invite you to my bed more often.” Feferi ends with a dignified giggle. She thought it wasn’t the most subtle thing the Empress might say, but it had been over an hour since Equius first started his bare-chested archery session. She didn’t care about subtlety anymore.

“Wha- But, Empress!” Equius protests, shocked at her comment. “If we meet too often, others might learn of our affair! What would your subjects think?”

“Let the lesserbloods think what they want of us!” Feferi suddenly shouts, and begins to move forward on the bed. “I don’t care who discovers our love. All I want is you, Darkleer.” She reaches her hand out from between the drapes. “All I need is you.”

That comment drew a rare smirk out of Equius before he reached out and took her hand. “Then you shall have me.”  He replies, and moves past the drapes, onto the bed. Before he can get a good look at Feferi, she quickly launches toward him, giving him a long-awaited kiss. Once they separated, Feferi moved back to give Equius an unobstructed view of herself. She was wearing a matching black pair of bra and panties, stockings complete with a garter belt, and elbow-length gloves. All of her negligée and accessories were a matching shade of black and were trimmed with fine violet lace, along with being encrusted in gold and jewels. All of this was complimented by the almost ludicrous amount of jewelry she was wearing. She had rings on almost every finger and toe, several ear and fin rings (most of which were probably clip-ons), a good amount of gold chains and necklaces, gold bracelets up both arms and a few up her legs, a belly chain hooking onto a presumably fake naval piercing, and to cap things off: a larger, more decorated version of her usual tiara. Equius suddenly felt woefully underdressed.

Seeing him in such a flustered state caused Feferi to start giggling. “So, how do you like it, Equius?”

Put on the spot, Equius rushed to come up with a response. “Erm, nice stockings… I would’ve expected fishnets.” He chuckled quietly at his own pun.

“Hey! I’m not some one-trick pony here!” she retorts playfully. “So, are we just going to make puns all night, or are you going to take me?” She asks as she lies down on the bed invitingly.

“I could do both.” Equius said as he crawls over to her.

“Please no. I’d be laughing too much to focus.”

Equius plants a quick kiss on her lips. “Oh, am I that inadequate that you can be distracted by a little wordplay?” Equius feigns disappointment.

“Yes, Equius.” Feferi says, flatly. “Making me scream your name at the top of my lungs is no big deal, but those fish puns! Those really get me hot.” She trails off, staring incredulously at his smiling face.

After a short moment of silence, they both move into a deep kiss. Equius begins stroking Feferi’s cheek as he slips his tongue past her lips. Feferi moans quietly as she moves her tongue to meet his. She reaches up around Equius, embracing him as they shared this moment of passion. They both had waited the entire day for this, and they couldn’t wait to unleash all of the emotion they had pent up.

With his free hand, Equius reached back along Feferi’s arm to grasp her hand in his. As he brought it down to the bed, he entwined his fingers in hers and tightly grasped her hand. Their make-out steadily grew more steamy as Equius moved his tongue all around Feferi’s tongue and mouth, tasting every centimeter her could find. Feferi moaned both in pleasure and slight disappointment as Equius’s tongue retreated back to his mouth, as he switched to peppering her lips with several shorter kisses. He moved the hand he still had on her cheek up to run it slowly through her hair as his kissing moved down to her neck. With her mouth unoccupied, Feferi’s moans became louder and Equius noticed she occasionally vocalized quite ‘glubs’ under her heavy breath.

From her position, Feferi could do little more than tighten the grip she had on Equius in several places. One hand was clasped in Equius’s while the other moved up his back to grasp his shoulder, and her legs tightened around the one leg Equius had between hers. All she could do now, and wanted to do, was focus on Equius as he kissed and sucked on her neck. Her breathing became faster as she noticed his free hand had begun moving down from her head to her chest. Moaning loudly, she moves her hand down from his shoulder to grip the bed as his hand finally reaches its goal at her breast. Equius gives her breast a few soft squeezes before slowly slipping his hand underneath her bra, along with slowly licking up her neck to reach her cheek fin. Feferi squeaks out a quick moan as both of these areas were stimulated at the same time.

As his fingertips begin to tease her nipple, he begins to softly nibble her fin. “Equius… No, that’s… too sensitive.” She says between breaths as Equius continues to work along the edge of her fin. Motivated by her protests, Equius bites down a bit rougher at the base of her fin, while pinching and tugging her nipple. “No, I- Equius!” Feferi squeals out from the pleasure, gripping tighter onto Equius and the bed.

Equius momentarily halts his assault of pleasure to whisper into her ear, “You weren’t e%aggerating when you said making you scream out my name was not a big deal.” He moves back to take in the sight of Feferi panting after his handiwork, while staring daggers at him.

“Sh-shut the fuck up, and kiss me.” Feferi commands while trying to catch her breath. Equius doesn’t hesitate in repeating the steamy make out they shared before. This time though, Equius moved both of his hands down to her breasts. He slid her bra up, exposing her large breasts, and began to gently, but passionately caress her chest. Feferi moaned into Equius’s mouth and grasped onto his arms as the pleasure intensified. She was still unsure how he managed to be so gentle during intimacy, yet unable to fully control his strength at other times. But even if she wanted to explore that thought right now, her mind was focused on what Equius was doing right now.

Equius began to kiss his way down her neck to reach her chest, while his right hand slid down her body. Feferi’s excitement grew as she waited to see where he would focus first. Equius’s mouth reached her breast while his hand was still only to Feferi’s hip. He began to taste her soft breast, once again making Feferi moan loudly. He massaged her right breast while he circled her left nipple with his tongue. Feferi was getting close to her limit, but it wasn’t coming fast enough.

She moved her hand to push Equius’s arm further down her body. “Please. Now.” She could barely say between her heavy gasps.

Equius stopped everything he was doing as his hand rested just above her panties. “Is that an order?” He asked as he lightly rubbed along the lace of her panties. “Empress?”

“YES!” Feferi screamed, needing him to touch her just a tiny bit more. Without hesitation Equius moved his head back up to deeply kiss Feferi while his hands resumed pleasuring her. His left went about squeezing and pulling her nipple, while his right rubbed her crotch rapidly. While he preferred working slowly and intimately, when commanded, Equius had no choice but to fully satisfy his empress. Feferi moaned and shrieked loudly into his mouth as she quickly approached her climax. She broke his kiss to scream, “Equius, keep like that! I- I-!” Her body tensed, when suddenly Equius stopped what he was doing. In the sudden silence, they both heard the sound of someone clearing their throat excessively loud. They both turned to see a jade figure standing, arms crossed at the door.

“Excuse Me. I Truly Hope That I’m Not Interrupting Anything Important, Am I?"


End file.
